A Beautiful Longing

Wrinkles

Hello to all. There are times, when I am just full of something to say, and it spills out here, or in my journal, or to my cat, my walls, my air around where I'm at. I always know I'm heard, because I'm never alone. I am kept company by El Shaddai.
When I got back from an adventure walk around my farm, a very small adventure, I felt like there was a smile inside. Someone with as much solitude as me, apparently, isn't always smiling externally, but, well, maybe I am:) I want all the lines on my face, to come from smiles. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks, and the face wrinkles too. I want smile lines, to be the riverbeds, for the tears to flow through. I am sure, that I don't always feel like smiling, but oh for the prints of joy to manifest, in beautiful wrinkles, laugh lines, smile-ways, like free-ways.
Today, hearing His voice, tender heart, love flowing, life is sweet.
Tomorrow, and the rest of my days, here on this planet, if I hear His voice, oh for it to go down deep in my heart, loving, living, being free, in Him. Thank You El Shaddai, thankYou for Your divine accompaniment to my life. I am just a grace note, and You are the symphony. When He sings over us, we can sing His song.

The Importance of Kindness

Good Morning on this, first snow morning of 2010:)
I am just copying out of my morning time/journal today. Sharing with my friends, love from the middle of nowhere, or now here.

Kindness -is-so-important! Kindness is a way of being that is the out flow of love in residence. A kind act can cause a break through, from hard-heartedness, into freedom and love. A kindness done is evidence of a softening, sometimes kindness is the act that brings restoration to the person doing it! It is often a first sign of repentance.
If His love is in you, it will manifest as kindness, often!!! Kindness is the act of giving favour, deliberately. Kindness often a sacrifice, often done secretly, reaps great rewards in the secret place. He sees and He delights in this. His way - flowing so in harmonious oneness with us. Kindness flowing, like blood through our body. Kindness is a "natural" way, with God. He is naturally kind. Kindness is not conditional. It is given when ever the giver wants to. It is not a reward per se, for another's behaviour. It is done a) with no thought of a return from the one it's done to b) can be done, without the other deserving it at all c) can be done to strangers, to animals, and even to ourselves.
It is an attitude, that will always look to produce action. It will not sit idle, it will perform. It is deliberate. It is deliberate.

"...But the fruit of the (Holy) Spirit (the activity, work which His presence within accomplishes) is love, joy (gladness) peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), KINDNESS, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law..." Gal. 5:22,23

"...For the fruit (the effect, the product) of the Light, or the Spirit (consists) in every form of kindly goodness, uprightness of heart, and trueness of life..." Eph. 5:9

All my early life, especially as a Catholic, and even throughout my adult life, it is so much more emphasized to abstain from evil (which is good!!), but way too often, there is the action of rejection towards people, a critical judgemental, pointing finger. A "holier than though" competitive attitude, not overt, we are often oblivious to. We are never asked to shame others, to preach about their evil behaviour. We are asked, (and equipped) to live out of the Wellspring of His Spirit. We ought to be unable to deter the flow of goodness and kindness. This flow ought to soak, pour on, get very wet, everyone around us and all people where ever we go. This is like bringing a river everywhere. It would flood things, they would get wet, they would be affected.
This is the overt effect our lives should have on society. this is an inarguable, river, rising, flood. One gets soaked with it, and deals with it's aftermath:)
An aftermath of Kindness, of Life Springing from heaven flowing outward through a saint is a touch of goodness and mercy, a feast, in famine, for a lost soul. Evidence of a better Kingdom and a Great King. It is the very power of God, for which there is no defense. It is an indefensible weaponry arsenal. it is like giving cold water to your enemy, in the heat of battle. It is mercy in action, love in action. It is goodness in action.
Destroy evil with good, and start with Kindness. Evil won't be weakened by righteous adherence to rules of goodness. It will however, be destroyed by relentless kindness, relentless love, relentless mercy, relentless grace. The River of His Presence, reveals itself through these.
Be relentless in kindness and enjoy it, for it is pure joy I am telling you!
Being good in God's sight, doesn't equal behaving well, as in not doing wrong. Being good is being true to value. Goodness is a statement of grace. Goodness is the atmosphere of a heart, that reveals itself in kindness rather than adherence to rules.
A good person, with God's imputed goodness, the action of His life in them, will have it manifest as kindness, and in generosity.
A person made righteous by His Blood, will have it manifest by living sinless. Blood cleansing, makes sin-free, a life that was previously corrupt all the way. Righteousness is the evidence of His Blood "Bath". It is the righteousness of Christ. It is a flow, a powerful flow, that renews, retrains, restrains, constrains, and manifests as liberty from slavery to sin. One's sin's after their initial salvation, all falters, under this Blood and this Blood is always producing liberty. Pure, holy, perfect, amazing, liberty.
Kindness is not approval for wrong action. Wrong action, sin, is never agreed with. This is where righteousness is a standard of His Holy ways.
There is no law against kindness. So, enjoy, this liberty, and liberating of His life streaming through you, and fire kindness at will, anytime and anyplace. Remembering, there is no defense against it. It doesn't matter if the kindness is not understood, by the one to whom it is being extended, GOD TOTALLY ENJOYS IT, SEES IT, AND IS HIMSELF BLESSED BY IT!

Time Traveling Shoes.

I've decided to share something that occured in my life, that still leaves me scratching my head, and if it didn't happen to me, I might struggle to believe someone telling me it happened to them.
I was going through a particularly difficult time in my life, in the January of 2006. Early in the month I went to Target and bought myself a pair of shoes. I'll try and post a pic of them. As I was leaving the store, I thought to myself, I should buy a pair for my sister. At the time we were living in Ventura county, California and she was living in Lima, NY.
Well, a couple of weeks later, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and decided I was going to get out and took myself to a local restaurant for breakfast. Which, didn't really help. I was on my way back home, just driving past the Target, when I heard the Lord say, in my thoughts, gently, why don't you get those shoes for your sister. I almost didn't, but turned in at the second entrance. I went in and spent all kinds of time, looking at nothing in particular. I bought her a purse and the same exact shoes I'd gotten for myself.
As I was leaving the store, I went into a checkout line that was just opening. The woman said she liked the shoes I was purchasing, and I showed her that I was wearing the same one's and was sending these to my sister. She then told me that she almost didn't come in that day. I asked her why and she said, she almost died four years earlier and she had to be careful not to push herself too hard. I asked her if I could pray for her, and she started crying and said that she also prayed for people and I prayed for her and we gave each other a hug. This was highly unusual for me. As I was walking out, I thought to myself. Lord, you know just when I'm going to be certain place, and what I'll say, and I was glad to be right on time for that precious woman.
Anyway, little did I know the lesson I was about to get on "timing". As I was driving out of the parking lot, I heard Him say, why don't you just go and mail it on the way home. I was still not too much in the mood, but I stopped by the Mail Boxes Etc. and started to package up the things to send. I wrote a little note and put it in. The note said something like, Dear Di, this is for no particular reason at all, just because I love you. I dated the note, January 18th, and then went and mailed it, walked out with the receipt in my purse and lifted up a quick prayer like, Jesus, please get it there safe.
Meanwhile, on January 18th, in Lima, NY, my sister, who was the Librarian at a local Christian school was responsible for morning devotions. Her topic was, how God does things for no particular reason, except that He loves us. After she was done, she went into the library and felt the Holy Spirit tell her, to go home for lunch, He had something for her.
So, she didn't know what it was, but headed home and noticed a parcel left on her front porch. This was unusual in itself, because the Post office doesn't do this, they put a notice in your mailbox. Anyway, she went in and opened it up. It was my package, and it was on her doorstep at 11:45am, January 18th, 2006. She opened it up and read the note and noticed it was just like what she shared that morning. She also noticed the date I'd written, January 18th and thought I'd glitched and just wrote the wrong date. Ethan, her youngest son, wore the shoes later in the afternoon, when they went to the grocery store and got them wet, during his purchase of Skittles.
Diane wondered about the date. Me, I had no idea and I didn't want to ruin the surprise. I called the next day and my sister was at JoAnn fabrics and had the receipt and was wearing the shoes then. I didn't know, her hubby just told me she was at the fabric store.
So finally a few days later, when I thought the package would have arrived I called and Diane said, I think something very strange may have happened with this package. I said what? She asked when I sent it, and so I went and got the reciepts and saw I left the Target at 12:30pm and mailed the package around 1:30pm, January 18th. She said, NO WAY! I said what, again. She told her her story and we began to laugh, and laugh, because it's just that impossible. The package was on her doorstep, at 11:45am EST, which is 8:45am PST. I was still eating breakfast at that time. The shoes got there, before I bought them. WHAT???????
We had all the evidence, before our eyes, we had eye witnesses, and still your mind can't grasp how that can happen, because, it literally can't humanly speaking.
But, never, ever forget, that God does things for no particular reason sometimes, just because He loves us.
One closing thought. My sister remarked, after we finished laughing and I told her about my side of the story. What if, when you hugged that woman and prayed for her, God healed her four years ago?
What if?

A Few Thoughts on Interpreting Scripture.

One thing I want to say is, that I see that human misinterpretation of the spirit and intention
of scripture, is not God's fault. It actually could be blamed for His own crucifixion. The devil used it as a tool to tempt Jesus in the wilderness. Consider the source of the interpretation. Jesus was accused of casting out demons, with the power of the devil, by people who thought He was violating scripture. Which proves that we are really able to not understand scripture and abuse it, feeling self righteous, to the point of utter bondage. But, I still believe that God has hidden Himself, in order to be found by anyone sincerely seeking Him therein. He is equally hard to find, for those who have a different agenda, and for those thinking they see and are blind. God wants to be known, and I think that's one of the significant reasons for scripture. When I am unable to interpret something, I don't want to presume to say that God is what? someone to judge as a fool? It is most likely, that I am the fool x infinity. If God's Spirit, is not interpreting scripture to you, you will be left to interpret it on your own and you may as well read it in a dark room with the lights off. I think, in the wrong spirit, it is the devil's favourite tool of destruction. If he can twist God's words and get us to listen, it is just like the fall in the beginning. It's a very ancient trick.

Pondering Leadership....

After posting a question on Facebook today, I've been pondering it, deeper and deeper. So, I thought I'd write here, where there's more room to think in words. My question was basically, how do people see that the family is run, socialist, communist, democracy, dictatorship, monarchy, etc. I wrote that I personally believed that the main governing premise, in my mind and thereby, family, is loving God, with my all heart, and my neighbour, as myself. The top "laws" of scripture.
It's obvious to me, living in an atmophere of political criticism, that it's easier to point the finger "out", than "in" at our ownselves. I believe, if we don't face up to our own messes, we have nothing to say into anything at all. We are a nation, a world, ever so predominated by blind hypocrits. All of us, have fallen into this category at times. Blindness, like this, is a huge hindrance to love.
For me, the chasm, between the Kingdom of God, and all other governments, is ever widening in dynamics. Not that they have ever cohabited. But, there have been times in history, where government and politics, borrowed much from scripture.
But, I don't want to talk about history, or politics really. I want everyone, including myself, to take a really good look at themselves. How do you lead? How do you affect those people around you? Do you even know?
We have all probably experienced throughout our lives, many forms of leadership, from the amazingly good, to the awful in the extreme. The saddest thing would be to be an awful leader, "hitleresque", and be utterly blind to yourself and the affect you have on others. I'm pretty sure world dictators, tyrants, controlling in the extreme, don't care, and probably don't see themselves in anything but their own light, which isn't light at all.
There have been such abuses of leadership in the church. Religious abuse, is insidiously, devastating.
For me, the saddest thing is, that this misrepresentation of God, is so far off the mark of who He really is. You know, He isn't very defensive about Himself. He's secure in Himself and His leadership methods are the most unorthodox, original, creative and totally good. It isn't God who abuses power, even though He is omnipotent. It is people, even in His name, but not authorized by Him at all. The salt of the earth, are the people, who resemble Him the most. They are salty! Sometimes annoyingly so!
There is another player in this whole game of control and this is the one that is not perceived in the world's political systems, but it is manipulated by this player. This is the enemy of our race and of God. This is a real battle.
What can someone, who doesn't even agree there is a devil do, in a battle, where he is so blinded by the dark? It is the ones who are in the light, called and anointed, to love these blind, and to "proclaim recovery of sight to those bound by the dark". I can, and do, pray for people, all over the globe, not just limited to this present tense either, and I can ask for God to do for them, what they don't even believe needs to be done. If I have a friendship with God, and He with me, then, as time goes by, His life, and ways, rub off on me. I am more and more able to ask for those very things that He would most like to be asked for. My faith in Him, made more sure, year after year. This is His grace to me. This is the way He rules. He dominates with grace, and rules in mercy and His ideas are just and His heart is good. He has already done for us, all we need, to be completely free. He died for us, in spite of the fact that no one asked Him to. I wonder how many have refused His life's blood?
As to not believing there is a God, or if Jesus is God, and needing proof, or wondering why you should believe something that cannot be seen. I'm going to ask a couple of questions, because I believe our very self, our own body, proves we were made to walk in faith, easily. First question is: Can you see smells? How do you know it's there if you can't see it? But, you can "see" it, but it is perceived through your sense of smell. You can detect so many fragrances and smells and scents and I am saying, this is a bit of a picture of walking in faith. Second question; Can you see cold or warm or hot? You can sense it, easily. But, not with your eyesight, with your sense of touch. This too a picture of faith. How about, can you see sound? Can you see air? Let's take it a bit farther, what about those times, when you can "cut the atmophere with a knife"? Or someone gave you "the creeps". All these things we do, some easily explained in physiology, some not so easy to explain.
You can't see me, or touch me right now, but here I am, writing to you, because I love "connection". Why?
If there is a God, why wouldn't He love connection too? Why would He have to live by your rules? In fact, since we didn't make Him, the only way to know Him, is if He reveals Himself. I find Him very easy to "see".
Have you ever known anyone, and you'll walk into their home, or eat a meal they prepared, or receive a gift from them, or look at something they made and felt like saying, "this looks just like them!" If we can do that with people, and we do, all the time. We can surely do it with God. We can know so much about Him, that scripture becomes a confirmation of truth, revealed clearly, all around.
God has such particular affection for us. I believe we were born with an inborn sense of faith, like a sixth sense. I also think we were born, deeply needing the affection of God, to have that worth, validated. We were, and are, worth saving, to Him. This means we are worth saving, period. He is particularly stubborn, when it comes to giving up on us, and He is utterly clever in wisdom, knowing us intimately, as He is the ultimate, "fisher of men". The truth is, we are fish, that desperately want to, and need to be caught, by Him:)

Soul Trails

Struggling today, with many thoughts. What do people do, with painful thoughts? I know I pray a lot, but I wish I could just..... Anyway, I decided to write.
I heard on the radio today, that recently, on a Texas College campus, there was a booth set up, with permission from the college, where you could trade your Bible, for porn. I just want to cry. I hate to be a bearer of bad news, and it's hard to know what to do with the condition of things. But....it's not good. I heard the Lord, clearly, early in the week, as I was reacting, to something, and my thoughts started on a trail, "I never speak to you through your fleshly reactions." He doesn't speak out of our emotional reactions, of fear and worry. When we try and figure out something that is stressing us out and we trail off with our own ways of solving the problems. So, I learned something big, because all of my mistakes have been made, along this human trail. He wasn't upset with me, at all. I heard relief in Him, like, "whew, she finally heard it!"
A couple of days later I was asking Him to show me how He thinks and feels about "need". I noticed for reasons I won't get into now, that to "need" was something not acceptable. I didn't really believe this, but it had been eroding my inner person somehow. Anyway, back to my point. I came to the scripture, "and my God will liberally supply (fill to the full)your every need according to His riches in glory, in Christ Jesus." Phil.4:19 It is His pleasure to meet our needs, His choice and "the Lord hears the poor and needy and despises not His prisoners (His miserable and wounded ones)..." Ps. 69:33. Then, He gently spoke, let that way of reacting, that your soul finds itself doing naturally, run along the course of truth, reacting, making choices, decisions, thoughts, along that trail. He was letting me know, in a way, that it wasn't necessarily the reaction process that was not wise, but it was that I was allowing the process to be begun by fear, anxiety, doubt, anger. So, what if I react, and think, and make decisions, as strongly to the words of truth, abundantly given in the scripture. How different would life be? A lot I think. Our will, and emotions, our soulish life, was originally designed to function, like a flowing river, along the course of truth. Wisdom was to have been normal.
Now, back to the sad new of the booth on that college campus. I felt, and still do, the residue of sorrow, grief, anger, pain and like a helpless frustration, so, rather than trail along and make up my inner thought life with this trail, I am taking hold of what He says. What would that be Father? Okay, this popped into my head, I'm sure there are a lot of other scriptures, but this will work for an example and for me to practice. "Ask of me the heathen for your inheritance."
Father, give me these lost, disappointed, deceived, kids, for my inheritance. Give me a heart to pray for them, to love them before Your throne. Give them to me, as my own inheritance. Give them to me as my children, to mother, with my life before you. Save them from the porn, which only offers an ever increasing, fast path into a lifelong addiction, and no where near Life Himself. Open blind eyes. Oh Father, anoint me, with the same anointing that You anointed Your Son, "recovery of sight to those bound, in a prison of blindness." Let these, my children, come to be so deeply, satisfied by You, so freed, so forgiven, so Redeemed, so passionate, so wild for You. Give them a taste of Your goodness and let that very way, that we can become addicted, be put to it's original design, and that is at home with You.
I believe, that when we hear Him, and pray, along His watercourses, then the River of Life flows that way, and He gives us, these desires of His heart, which have become the desires of our own. He puts His Massive, Unhinderable, Power into the answer. The truth is, that things are bad I think, but, nothing is too hard for Him. Draw near to Him, and He'll draw near to you. He will show you great and mighty things that He will do. Do not, let your soul, drink the muddy waters of the propaganda of the dark.