Soul Trails

Struggling today, with many thoughts. What do people do, with painful thoughts? I know I pray a lot, but I wish I could just..... Anyway, I decided to write.
I heard on the radio today, that recently, on a Texas College campus, there was a booth set up, with permission from the college, where you could trade your Bible, for porn. I just want to cry. I hate to be a bearer of bad news, and it's hard to know what to do with the condition of things. But....it's not good. I heard the Lord, clearly, early in the week, as I was reacting, to something, and my thoughts started on a trail, "I never speak to you through your fleshly reactions." He doesn't speak out of our emotional reactions, of fear and worry. When we try and figure out something that is stressing us out and we trail off with our own ways of solving the problems. So, I learned something big, because all of my mistakes have been made, along this human trail. He wasn't upset with me, at all. I heard relief in Him, like, "whew, she finally heard it!"
A couple of days later I was asking Him to show me how He thinks and feels about "need". I noticed for reasons I won't get into now, that to "need" was something not acceptable. I didn't really believe this, but it had been eroding my inner person somehow. Anyway, back to my point. I came to the scripture, "and my God will liberally supply (fill to the full)your every need according to His riches in glory, in Christ Jesus." Phil.4:19 It is His pleasure to meet our needs, His choice and "the Lord hears the poor and needy and despises not His prisoners (His miserable and wounded ones)..." Ps. 69:33. Then, He gently spoke, let that way of reacting, that your soul finds itself doing naturally, run along the course of truth, reacting, making choices, decisions, thoughts, along that trail. He was letting me know, in a way, that it wasn't necessarily the reaction process that was not wise, but it was that I was allowing the process to be begun by fear, anxiety, doubt, anger. So, what if I react, and think, and make decisions, as strongly to the words of truth, abundantly given in the scripture. How different would life be? A lot I think. Our will, and emotions, our soulish life, was originally designed to function, like a flowing river, along the course of truth. Wisdom was to have been normal.
Now, back to the sad new of the booth on that college campus. I felt, and still do, the residue of sorrow, grief, anger, pain and like a helpless frustration, so, rather than trail along and make up my inner thought life with this trail, I am taking hold of what He says. What would that be Father? Okay, this popped into my head, I'm sure there are a lot of other scriptures, but this will work for an example and for me to practice. "Ask of me the heathen for your inheritance."
Father, give me these lost, disappointed, deceived, kids, for my inheritance. Give me a heart to pray for them, to love them before Your throne. Give them to me, as my own inheritance. Give them to me as my children, to mother, with my life before you. Save them from the porn, which only offers an ever increasing, fast path into a lifelong addiction, and no where near Life Himself. Open blind eyes. Oh Father, anoint me, with the same anointing that You anointed Your Son, "recovery of sight to those bound, in a prison of blindness." Let these, my children, come to be so deeply, satisfied by You, so freed, so forgiven, so Redeemed, so passionate, so wild for You. Give them a taste of Your goodness and let that very way, that we can become addicted, be put to it's original design, and that is at home with You.
I believe, that when we hear Him, and pray, along His watercourses, then the River of Life flows that way, and He gives us, these desires of His heart, which have become the desires of our own. He puts His Massive, Unhinderable, Power into the answer. The truth is, that things are bad I think, but, nothing is too hard for Him. Draw near to Him, and He'll draw near to you. He will show you great and mighty things that He will do. Do not, let your soul, drink the muddy waters of the propaganda of the dark.